My ticket to the Late Show on May 14th, 1997

"You've all been a really good audience except for
this guy from Long Island..."

Once I had lunch (At the Stardust diner), I came back to the Theater at 4:00 PM to wait in line again. Like the last time, I waited in line for an hour. During this hour, CBS Pages would come out and give us the rules inside the theater. For instance, no one was allowed to go to the bathroom during the show, so the bathrooms in the theater would be open until 4:45 PM. After 4:45, no one could use the bathroom. Also, special note was given to the audience not to yell inside the theater because of their super sensitive microphones above us. At 5:00 PM, the pages finally let us into the theater to be seated. My friends Chrissie and Jason were seated first row center, while Jeremy and I were split up from them (I got lucky by getting 4 tickets, remember) Jeremy and I were directed to the far left of the theater and seated in the first row, right in front of where the CBS Orchestra would play. These seats were excellent to view the entire show without having the camera in the way.

"Why me?"

When everyone was seated, the warm-up comedian, Eddie Brill, introduced a video to us entitled "Dave Talks to Kids." It was a funny video where Dave talks to young kids about various things. Once this video was completed, Eddie gave us once again the rules inside the Theater and also got our applause synchronized (whatever). After this, Eddie introduced everyone in the CBS Orchestra except Paul Shaffer. The band began performing a mini concert where two songs were performed. During the middle of the first song, Paul Shaffer came out to an ovation. He joined in with the band. In person, the CBS Orchestra is loud, but they're very good. After the mini concert, Eddie exclaimed "Do you wanna see Dave?" The audience agreed. Eddie once again screamed "You wanna meet Dave???" Once again, the audience gave the same approval. then Eddie said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. David Letterman!!!" Dave came out to a loud ovation.

"Wearing a little something from the Dinty Moore
collection..."

Dave began his Questions and Answers period by asking if anyone in the audience was from the Midwest, especially Indiana. A man said he attends Ball State University, Letterman's Alma Mater. Dave welcomed him to the show and said he will now speak very slowly. Then Dave opened the floor for questions. One man from Pennsylvania raised his hand and asked Dave "Where's Dick Assman?" Dave acknowledged the good question, but had no answer for the guy. then Dave said, "OK one more quick question." I raised my hand violently. Dave must have noticed because he pointed to me and said "Yes sir, in the colorful shirt." (That day I wore a red plaid shirt. I was hoping to get his attention with it, and I did.) Dave asked me, "What's your name?" I replied, "My name is Bill." He

Modeling the shirt

said, "Where are you from, Bill." I replied, "Long Island, NY." He then turned to the audience and said "Ladies and Gentlemen, Bill from Long Island, New York." I accepted my applause. Dave said after my ovation, "Wow, that's the biggest ovation all night." He then said, "What's your question, Bill?" I then proceeded to ask Dave, "Well, I'm in the audience now, and I feel like I should be doing more. So I ask, since you've seen so many audiences, how can I be a better Late Show audience member?" I got a couple of chuckles from the crowd. Dave looks over to me and says, "Well, you can go sit in the lobby for an hour, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? You're making us all sick!" When he said the line about the lobby, the crowd erupted in laughter. So did I. I set myself up for a classic Letterman joke. He then went off backstage to make his entrance for the big show.

Yes, I brought about a little chuckle from Dave

Dave came out and began his monologue. It was pretty funny. I was still taken aback, however since I just talked to David Letterman. It's hard to imagine, but I've been a fan of him for 12 years (Yes, I first saw him when I was 6 years old.) Well, little did I know, but after Dave's monologue, he comments, "You know, you folks are a really, really good audience except for this guy from Long Island..." Dave points at me and continues, "and you sir, you sir, have been on my back all night. have a seat in the lobby, No I..." Meanwhile I'm looking at him and giving the gesture "Why me?" Dave stopped abruptly and then continued,

I had to give myself a moment to get rid of my gum

"Wearing a little something from the Dinty Moore Collection." Unbeknownst to me, I found out later that when Dinty Moore did advertisements on television, a man with a red plaid shirt would be their spokesperson. After hearing this, the joke to me was funnier. Anyway, after Dave's comment, I looked into the camera and modeled off my shirt in a joking fashion. Dave seemed to get a little charge out of my mock model work. Now I'm going crazy because now I've made a man whose made me laugh for so long laugh. I know it sounds weird, but if you think about it, a person rarely gets the chance to do what I did. Anyway, after Dave's chuckle, he goes "Get rid of your gum, get rid of gum, c'mon seriously, get rid of your gum." Before the show

Dave actually came down to get my gum
and dispose of it.

when I went off for lunch, I had it in the back of my mind that if I was going to get on TV, I would chew gum because I love it when Dave does his old joke when he takes out an audience member's chewing gum. Dave continued, "No, no, no, we're not continuing until you get rid of your gum." I held up my finger and prepared to take out my chewed gum from my mouth. Dave then went over to Paul Shaffer to get a piece of scrap paper for my gum. It turns out that scrap paper was the night's monologue. Well, after getting this paper, Dave approached me and asked me to place the gum into the paper. after doing so, Dave looked at me and said "Thank you very much. Enjoy the show." The camera then went back to me, and I just shrugged to say "What can you do?" At this point I was numb to what just transpired, but when I look back on it, it was very memorable. All I could do after Dave took my gum was look into the camera and shrug my shoulders.

After this incident, the show went on smoothly. David Hyde Pierce, Dana Delany, and the Spice Girls were OK. The rest of the show was kind of a blur to me, but I'll never forget my moment in the spotlight that night. It was surely a memorable evening for me, one I won't forget for a long time.

What could I do?

Hey, you want to see the video clip I made which shows my appearance on the program? Well, I'm sorry to say that until Macintosh gets the right drivers, you can't see this clip on a Mac, but if you have Windows 3.1 or above, click here to get it. It's a 2.24 MB AVI file. Enjoy!!! P.S. - If you see an error message from this file, then yneed a new driver codec. Download the drivers from Intel right here. Enjoy again!