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June 18th, 2001 - Part 1: On June 18th, 2001, I, Bill Lehecka, made my tenth trip to New York City to attend a taping of the Late Show with David Letterman at the Ed Sullivan Theater. The tenth trip would be part of the 3rd Annual DaveCon, entitled "DaveCon2001: A Dave Odyssey." I was very excited to see the AFLers again. Mary and I left from Philadelphia and drove north. Mary would drive through Manhattan and drop me off in the vicinity of the Ed Sullivan Theater. The trip was uneventful, other than the jet trying to land on the New Jersey Turnpike. Oh, and my sister getting lost in the Philadelphia ghetto. Man, you haven't lived until you've driven through a slum ruing the day you let Mary try to navigate her way back onto the Interstate. Mary drove through the Lincoln Tunnel ($6?!?!) and onto traffic in Manhattan. Eventually she weaved her way toward 8th Avenue. Once she got to 8th Avenue and 54th Street at noon, she dropped me off, and I would walk the rest of the way. Clad in my Late Show with David Letterman baseball jersey, I made my way to the Theater. I walked in front of the marquee and figured out how I was going to be able to loiter for the next hour or so. Traci said that everyone was going to meet at the Manhattan Chili Company at 1:30. I decided to pop on over to the CBS Store and check out both their fine merchandise and rude salespeople. I must say the salespeople weren't as rude this time as they have been in the past. While in the store, I spotted Traci checking out some Late Show merchandise. As I have for the past three years, I screamed her name once I saw her, and she was happy to see me. If you were wondering, no one's been this happy to see me since my childhood. We talked and feigned interest in buying some CBS merchandise. I actually wanted to get something, but there was nothing to get here. Traci and I walked out and made our way around to in front of Rupert Jee's Hello Deli. Traci asked me if I could get her a drink. I entered the crowded deli and purchased from Rupert an Arizona Iced Tea and a water. The total came to $2.25. Traci and I had a couple minute discussion about life and stuff. She took my pic in front of Rupert's sign that says "As seen on TV." At this point Traci gave me the DaveCon button, which I won't sell on eBay, but rather roll over into some kind of IRA or money making account. We eventually made our way into the Manhattan Chili Company to meet up with people. To our surprise, people were already waiting for us. More people started to trickle in as I enjoyed the great, free tortilla chips they provided. And I only bought a soda, which Traci paid for since I got her bottled water. Let's see if I can remember some of the luminaries at DaveCon: Renee (EZMAMA1D and reigning ticket goddess), Ann (Malficient8), Kate (Pepsi46), Rona, Cheryl Levenbrown, Marilyn Sargent (I gots the band aids somewhere), Helen Read (formulas don't phase her, and yes, I could crush her...), Shirlee (FOXYSCRIBE, and apparent Dikembe Mutombo fan), Cathy D (walking buddy), Rocco & Leslie, Nick (CyberBoy, and guy who's tall), Lance (Annual guy that sits next to Bill), Patrick Smith (Smith2003, and old AOL guy who was too young to get into the studio at one point), Greg Anderson (Mike Golic lookalike), Greg Donofrio (could probably kick my ass), Chad Riden (Improv in his pants, or something) and Doug (I don't know, either). Karen Lynch and Brad Hill (lovebirds) didn't show up until later. While inside the restaurant, it was nice to just talk with everyone and meet new people and catch up with old. I also learned that people love small gadgets... Ahem... I'm talking about my Palm... Well, two of them. If people wanted to see the Palm, I was not hesitant to show it. I even brought along the three clips I was in on the show where I either was mentioned or shown. Some people might consider that an ego problem, but I like to think of it as a HUGE ego problem. Karen and Brad finally showed up. Traci rushed up to Brad and asked if he could sign one of Brad's Dummy books, since all of the kids think Brad is dreamy. Karen and Brad, once again, brought T-shirts for the kids. Brad almost gave me an extra-extra small, in a surprise bit of continuity from last year. The T-shirt simply read "DaveCon2001." It was white. It was a very nice gesture. After receiving our letters from Renee, the group headed out to the street to wait in line. Renee announced that yes; we would be getting dotted, so that was nice. The pages were fine here, doing their job and doing it in a pleasant manner. We entered the theater and went up to the podium to give our name. After I gave my name (or was it before, I never remember these things), Renee directed me to a CBS Page that wanted to ask me a question. He asked if I was the one who has a web page with tons of trip reports (like the one you're reading now!). I said "Yes," with some trepidation, fearing that I was about to get tossed from the building or some other worse fate. Well, the man quelled my fears by asking if I was the one who said that one of the pages last year looked like Lyle Lovett. I said yes, I was. It turns out he and the other pages really loved that line, and it became a running gag. The guy who looked like Lyle Lovett left recently, but they all got a kick out of it. I'm glad the pages liked it, and being that they read these things, I'd like to say the following: "The CBS Pages, especially in the Ed Sullivan Theater, are the hardest working pages on Earth. While I do have a friend who is currently working as an NBC Page and says he and his group could mop the floor with them, I still think they have a great attitude and work ethic. They put up with a lot of stuff, and they take it with great aplomb." Now that didn't sound too cheesy, did it? Did the quotes help? We walked out, and I was met up with another page who asked for my name and my company. Now I was an idiot and I thought, "I guess she means the company I work for." I said "Virtual Flow Interactive Media." She tells me "Thanks for coming." She was holding dots in her hand, and she did not attempt to dot me (even though I was already dotted). So, if I was not a part of this group excursion, she wouldn't have dotted me. She was also kind of flippant in her greeting to me, like I was some weirdo or something. I didn't appreciate that. It didn't give off a good... Impression ding We then stop for another CBS page, who gives us further instructions. We have to be back by 4:15, etc, etc. She told people who had dots to stick around for further instruction. The further instruction was that you were dotted, you're special, you have a separate line, and you have to line up earlier near the fire hydrant on the left. OK then, we're set. Renee checked to see if we all got dotted, and we did. We then said we'd be in line by 4:00PM or earlier. Some people went off to 53rd Street, but I went up with Cheryl and her posse into the Chili Club again. There I had a very thorough demonstration of my Palm. Cheryl's people liked it, especially the insults I read off from it. Cheryl was eating calamari in the restaurant, and one of the wait staff came up and told her she couldn't bring outside food in with her. Cheryl told her that she bought the food from the restaurant. The waitress apologized and moved on. It might be a minor detail, but it was memorable for me. Eventually we all got back together and made our way down to the line. Unlike last year, when we all had to go to the back of the line, even after two DaveCon'ers held the first place in line for us, we all cut in so we could be together as a group. No one told us to not do that. While waiting, I was surrounded by more and more of AFL's elite. It was like I was in an AFL Mosh Pit. Traci even had the hooch in the water bottle. I thought to myself, "Hey, this ain't a Jimmy Buffet concert here..." I don't know what that means either. Donz showed up, and like last year, had impeccable timing. He was able to say hi to everyone right as we were being let into the theater. The group made its way into the theater to get instructions from the staffer who looks like Annette Funicello. I forget her name, so I will just refer to her by that name. She explained to us that the first two lines were for CBS and sponsor VIP's. They would be seated in the balcony. The back two lines would be for people who would be seated in the first few rows of the theater. Woo hoo! "Annette" went through her opening spiel and rules. She mentioned about being the audience ambassadors, and that our laughter would spread throughout the theater like malaria, or something. The one thing I liked about her spiel about laughing at everything Dave does was subtle, but noticed. She said, "If you wonder if something was funny, it probably was." Yes, she said laugh no matter if it was funny or not, but the other way of putting it made it seem better. "Annette" just went on and on with rules and how Dave picks comedy based on the audience, etc. Man, I think "Annette" went for 10 minutes. That was one long-ass speech. I needed to take a blow after that, it was so exhausting... and she has to give that speech almost every day, and twice on Thursday! I applaud you, "Annette." During the speech, Marilyn passed out the Altoids. I took two. You know, I've had 20 of those Altoids in my mouth at the same time. Curiously, they aren't that strong to me. Also, Traci said that we should give Dave a standing ovation. I was thinking "Well, Dave doesn't like standing ovations" but hell, we could do it. Jump to a page:
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